The Hard Choice
by paxbanana
Summary: Measure Each Step side-story - Before leaving the South Pole to return to the Fire Nation with Azula, Katara contemplates what direction her life with Azula might take her. Also, in which Katara enjoys watching Azula fail at eating crab.


"Katara!"

She turned her head and smiled at the young man who jogged up to her. "Hi, Nukkuk. What do you need?"

He handed her the basket in his hands. Katara took note of the colored weave in the handles to make sure she remembered to give it back to him. The boy said, "We got a good pot of crabs this afternoon."

"Thanks. I was trying to figure out what to do for dinner."

He smiled shyly and waved as he turned back to help his father distribute more crabs. Katara peeked in the basket and sighed. They'd given her at least seven crabs, twice as many as she needed even with Azula's surprising new appetite. She would have boiled some rice or seaweed with it, but there didn't seem to be any need anymore. A claw reached out of the basket towards her face and she shook the basket and set the top back on firmly.

Katara smiled happily as she imagined Azula trying to eat crab the Southern Water Tribe style. _'What do I do with it in the shell?'_ She nodded and greeted her family and friends and stopped to chat with Uma's husband about their new baby. He wasn't a big man, but he swelled with pride when he talked about his new son.

A few minutes later, Katara ducked into her hut and felt a little shiver of happiness at what she found there. Azula sat on their folded bedroll, concentrating heavily on the half-formed baleen basket in her hands. Ana sat in Azula's lap and tried to help as any self-respecting toddler would. Ana had gotten over her shy quietness and was chattering Azula's ear off. Azula responded at odd intervals, but Katara knew without a doubt Azula was listening.

"Hi, Mommy!" Ana called.

"Hi, sweetheart," Katara replied, earning a happy smile before Ana turned back to watch Azula weave.

Azula's basket was turning out lopsided, but it wasn't bad for a first effort. It would be sturdy enough to hold Azula's small collection of tools and the tools she borrowed in her quest to make her own. Azula had taken to this life so well, so much better that Katara had hoped. She did every task with single-minded concentration, tried every food without complaint, and never said no. Azula had her own flesher, a spearhead that would be lashed to a shaft soon, a leather hole puncher and needle, and several fishing hooks. She'd crafted her own little shoulder bag and was well on her way to finishing that storage basket. She'd fished, hunted, butchered, tanned leather, patched a sealskin tent, and helped construct an igloo.

"That's good," Katara said, thinking about more than the basket.

"It's lopsided," Azula replied with her mouth twisted. She offered a smile immediately after. It was so comforting to see her like this: no makeup, no cares with her hair, wearing casual Water Tribe clothes...especially the betrothal necklace that flushed Katara with pride. She looked soft, as much as Azula would scoff at the idea and probably take it as an insult.

Ana was apparently too comfortable in Azula's lap to leave for a kiss or hug. Katara could understand. Ever since Azula had returned with her firebending and a dragon (trust Azula to way overdo a simple task) she radiated heat. Katara got to monopolize that comfort at night at least. Ana could monopolize it now.

Katara went to the organized chaos of the area of her hut where she kept her cooking stores. She pulled out a few smooth cooking rocks and a metal pot purchased from Azula's steamer, a luxury that transmitted heat better than any other pot she'd used before. Katara dumped a fresh set of coals (another luxury) onto the fire pit and settled close to blow and raise the heat in the coals. She set the rocks in the coals to heat as well.

"I can help with that."

"You'll make it too hot." Katara blew again. "Thank you though." Once more, and the coals glowed red. "Ana, will you find my metal needle and pull out my cooking herb pouch? It has the green beads on the front. Leave them beside the fire pit."

Ana pushed herself out of Azula's lap as Katara ducked outside with the pot. She walked happily through the village to the carefully maintained clean snow they used for fresh water. They had a tank of unfrozen water, but that was precious. If someone had the means to melt snow instead of using the unfrozen water, they left the water for those who couldn't. Katara swept enough snow into her pot, melted it, and froze it. She began her walk back with her heavy burden.

"Let me." Hakoda swept around her from behind, smiled, and took the full pot from her.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Tell your wife we're going on the kayak again bright and early. This time, make sure she leaves her dragon behind."

Katara felt a twitch of fear and immediately brushed it away. There wouldn't be any danger Azula couldn't face. "Take it easy on her."

Hakoda laughed as he ducked into Katara's hut. He set the pot in the hot fire pit and settled down on the floor beside it. "Ah, Nukkuk gave you some of their catch."

"They gave me too much," Katara admitted. "Do you want a few?"

"I'm going to eat with Mimi and her father tonight. Thanks though." Hakoda glanced at Azula's baleen basket. "It's lopsided."

"You are such a clever man," Azula replied dryly as she carefully threaded baleen through the vertical strips. Katara didn't say anything; Azula and her dad could work out their little drama themselves. She lifted her hands and melted the ice in the pot and coaxed it to take on the heat of the coals more easily. It would only take a few minutes to begin boiling.

"Why?" Ana asked, back in the comfortable confines of Azula's lap.

"Because your grandfather pointed out something that is obvious."

"What's obvious?"

"Obvious means well known. It's obvious that you're a little girl."

Ana giggled.

Hakoda met Katara's eyes, and he smiled. He reached out and patted her shoulder. "Goodnight."

"Night night, Gampaw!" Ana pushed out of Azula's lap and gave him a kiss. His smile softened his weathered face. Katara leaned over to give him a kiss too. "Don't look at me," Azula said snidely.

Hakoda gave her a mock scowl as he left. "I wasn't. Goodnight."

Ana resettled next to Katara. She gasped as Katara pushed the top off of the crab basket. "Crab!"

Azula shifted closer and peeked over the edge of the basket. Her perplexity was cute. "Those are crabs?"

"I can't believe you laughed at me the first time we had crab on Ember Island," Katara shot back. She hadn't had a clue what the strips of meat on the plate were. Crab was supposed to come in its shell.

"I know what crabs are," Azula replied with the vague suggestion of an eye-roll. "Those are small and smooth."

"These aren't Northern Crabs. They taste better though. Oh, good job, Ana," Katara said when she saw that Ana had placed her metal needle and the right herb pouch where she'd asked her. Her father had sat on them. Katara picked up the metal needle Ana had retrieved for her. She set it in the hot coals. "No touching."

Ana nodded. Azula did too.

If everyone in the Fire Nation knew Azula could be so unconsciously silly, they would probably die from shock.

The water had begun a slow boil when Katara retrieved the hot needle from the fire pit. She transferred the now hot cooking rocks into the boiling water. She plucked one reaching crab out of the basket and deftly pushed the needle into its shell to kill it. Into the pot it went. She repeated the process with each crab. When she set the top on the pot, she glanced up to see Azula smiling gently at her.

"What?"

"Only you would think to kill a crab before you cook it."

"I would never boil it alive," Katara said. She looked at Azula in dawning horror. "They don't boil them alive in the Fire Nation?"

Azula sighed. "I only remember hearing them scratch around when I slipped into the palace kitchen as a child. But I'll draft a royal decree when we get back: 'All crabs must be rendered unconscious before death by boiling.' Thereafter I will be known as the crab princess."

Princess… Azula, the Fire Nation Princess. Azula, whose Fire Lord brother was looking for a way out. Azula, who had tamed a dragon and was once again the best firebender the world had ever seen. Katara knew that Princess would be quick to change to Fire Lord when they went back to the Fire Nation. She'd had so much joy seeing Azula take on this way of life and so much hope that they could make a life together in both their homes as Azula had promised, but the Fire Lord couldn't travel to the South Pole every year.

Azula had fought so long and so hard for this: glory, as she said. To be more than a birth and death date. Katara could never ask her to give that up.

It was what Pakku had told her: don't make the same mistake he did. They'd had long conversations about this issue before, and he'd always surprised her with his advice to leave behind the South Pole if she had to. Sacrifice for love and hold on to Azula for dear life. Azula was worth giving up her home. It would hurt, but it would be worth it for Azula's happiness and for raising a family together.

"Is it really that upsetting?"

Katara pushed all that away. She would enjoy Azula here as long as she could. "I guess it's not a big deal to you since they serve the meat already removed in the Fire Nation."

Azula cocked her head warily. "How do you eat it here?"

As much as she enjoyed that look on Azula's face, Katara realized she'd have to feed two children that night. She sighed as she pulled small linen pouches from her herb store. Just opening the little green-beaded bag made her hungry. She flicked a precious pinch her favorite seasonings into the again-boiling water and set the top back on the pot. She wished they had the heavily spiced butter paste they used in the Fire Nation to boil the crabs into a stew, but clean crab was good on its own.

"Ana, what did you learn at school today?"

Ana chattered happily about her day. She said a few words about her lesson, which apparently had been about the differences between winter and summer. The rest of the time she chattered about Azula's dragon. She'd learned a lot of new words in the last week, and every single one of them described that dragon. Katara had twinges of terror every time she realized Ana was at some point going to try to ride it.

"And what did _you_ learn today?" Katara asked Azula when she could get a word in edgewise.

"That training a dragon is a headache."

No wonder Azula was a little hoarse.

"How did that go?"

"No one died," Azula replied lightly. "How was your day?"

"No one died," Katara echoed. She smiled though. She'd been busy, but it wasn't the breakneck feeling of fearing they'd go under if she didn't get everything on her list done that day. Hama and Verack had taken better to this small village than she'd hoped, and Nema was willing to show them much of what they needed to know. They would be ready for her to leave in a few days. It felt like an absolute goodbye.

She used her sleeve to pull the top off of the pot. The crabs were dusky pink instead of their original brown color.

"Ana, will you bring me the tongs on top of the chest?"

"Where?" Ana asked, but she'd already turned and seen them. She bounded to her feet and managed to run the three steps between Katara and the tongs.

"Thank you." Katara fished a crab out of the pot with the tongs. Ana and Azula both watched her in fascination. Katara waited for it to cool enough to touch, stripped its viscera, peeled off its shell, scooped off the gills, and split the remainder in half. She dropped the trash into the basket they would all share. The carapace of the crab she set aside; the kids liked to dye them and carve them. She dropped one half of the crab onto a plate and handed it to Azula. Azula stared at the leg cluster in obvious perplexity. It was enough to coax Katara to laughter.

"Let me set up this little princess, and then I'll help you," she promised, dropping a kiss on Ana's head.

Azula plucked up the cluster and frowned at it. "I don't need help. I'm just not sure where to start."

"Then watch me." Katara stripped off the smallest leg and handed it to Ana to distract her long enough for Katara to get her crab meat ready to eat. There would be a temper tantrum if Ana realized Katara was doing all of the work. She was raising an independent little girl, wasn't she? Katara deftly reduced the rest of the crab to meat and handed the plate over to Ana, who was chattering about someone who'd been pinched at some point.

"That's why we don't put our hands in a crab pot," Katara said.

Ana nodded seriously. "I bet it hurted."

"I bet it did hurt."

Meanwhile, Azula frowned as she snapped the crab leg in her hands. She broke the meat inside too and looked hopelessly at the two halves in her hand. Katara held out her hands, and Azula glared at her. "I'm not an invalid. I can feed myself without help."

"Uh huh. Start with the tip of the leg first to pull the sinew out."

"Eat," Azula said seriously.

"Eat!" Ana shouted with a laugh.

"Inside voice," Katara reminded her. Ana giggled sweetly. Katara smiled as she turned to her food. She'd finished a two clusters when Ana, happily humming, finished her food.

"More!"

"If you want more, you have to ask like a polite little girl," Katara told Ana. Ana pouted, attempted a staring contest, and then finally mumbled something that approximated, "May I pwease have some more crab?"

Katara began to work on the largest leg in her cluster and was stunned to see Azula—who had been painstakingly removing the entire bit of meat from the largest crab leg on her first cluster—set her piece on Ana's plate.

"What do you say?" asked Katara, trying very hard not to cry. Yet another thing about her wife she hadn't dared hope. Azula had taken to Ana so well. Ana would be calling Azula her mother soon too. Katara hoped she got to see the first time; she wanted to see the realization cross Azula's face. She wanted other children too, until their hut was loud and happy and…

"Thanks!"

"You are very welcome, Ana," Azula said. At least she was polite with children.

It took Azula most of the dinner to clean her half cluster of meat. Katara had already eaten four clusters and had cleaned four more, which she handed over. Azula smiled sheepishly and polished that off in no time, but Katara gave her the last of the crab meat by then. "Thank you."

"You've been eating a lot more."

"I've been a little overzealous with my firebending," Azula admitted with a slow, wicked smile. "And any fire needs fuel."

And there it was, the quiet self-assurance that had been missing since the war. It expanded Azula's presence, made her dangerous and beautiful, and Katara loved to see it. Part of her couldn't wait to see Azula in the Fire Nation again. The muted self-esteem would explode, redouble, and Azula would be a force to behold. She would lead her nation and lead it fiercely.

As Pakku had told her, Katara would just have to hold on tight and go along for the ride. Azula was worth it.

-end-


End file.
